Like a woman's man died and 2. Life after the death of a man
In one woman, a man died, if she was young, and I had one chance to winnow some blues. The elder son of the same was not yet eleven years old. For life, the father tried hard and took care of everything that was necessary, and after his death, the mother took all the turboti on herself. Vaughn spent all her time looking after the children, their care was taken. Mother worked day and night, and endured all the hardships herself. During the day she worked, and in the evenings she cooked food for the whole family. Then, at night, she fell in the sight of her and fell into a sinister, and then she got up early in the morning to prepare food for the children, clothes and everything needed. Having perekonavshis, scho all harazd, she sent the children to school and impatiently checked their turns. Vaughn was ready to show off everything, marveling at those how these children grow up.
So, months and months passed by robots and troubles, children grew up, and mothers kept talking about them.
After that, as the children became full-grown, the mother continued to help them: she took on all the clothes in their light, clothes and food, and then she hustled for them the place of the robot, and she helped them to become friends.
If it was already over 60 years old, it lost itself. The hard work of stretching the rich rocks did not pass without a trace, and paralyzed. These children picked up together and lashed out for their mother according to their hearts. Year її zdorov'ya pogrіshuvalis and she ceased to speak. The bridesmaids treated her rudely and often spoke figurative words, but she endured all humiliation. Until then, the blue, about like it won’t dbal from the day of their nationality to friendship, if the stench has already become independent, replace the mother’s defense and take on a turbota about her, they began to shift the blame one on one. These squads were not ready until the pikluvannya about their ailment matir, and the blues began to boil one by one, passing mother one to one, like a tractor.
As if, if the black of the young son had come, it appeared that the stench of the retinue was requested for a party before the friends. Sin does not want to miss the rozva and not knowing how to be with mother. Calling up the elder brother and saying that he was recognized as a brat, and that this year you can’t sit with your mother, and that you should correct your mother until the next. Then the brothers began to bark, and the elder brother said that they could not fix the doors, as if they had brought wine today. Regardless of the price, the youngest still brought an unochi matir to his older brother. Knocking for a long time at the door, but the older brother didn’t make a decision, even the younger one shouted loudly: “Your mother is sitting at the door, I’m leaving it and I’m going!”, - I pishov.
Mother all bachila that chula. Tears flowed її cheeks. Vaughn could not collapse, nor speak, and could not move. No one so and without opening the door and not thinking about those, like mothers there: why do you want to drink, eat, sleep. І tse after stіlkoh rokіv diligence! At the vіdpovіd vаn otrimala vіd sіnіv baiduzhіst zhorstokіst. So she sat by the door and guessed her life. Vona said to herself: “Never mind my children, whom I loved so much, trying to protect all the inaccuracies. A few times the stench woke me up at night and asked me to drink more. I was so pleased with their joys, and it hurt me so much, if it hurt more. Life has passed, how to die, and I lost myself on my own, cold and hungry ... ".
Today at the polyclinic, I told the known.
We did not care about rocky chotiri. In the course of an hour, a man died from a heart attack, the elder son became friends, the daughter entered the next place. Zhіntsi 42. Life wasted sens.
I couldn't put up with the other person. No, I don’t wind myself up, I live, practice, mate. I people in friends will ask. And I tried for some deaky little ones, but all are not the same. I can't learn to live with a waste. And in the evening, sometimes it feels so spontaneous, so painful.
And I'm angry at myself for not saying something respectful, here for nothing I formed myself, all endured the trip to the sea.
And in my life such self-sufficient friends appeared, just like me. Some people are gone, some people have gone, if children have grown up, but stink all the same suffer. Sometimes we laugh and it seems that we need to create a club for young widows. Like a sprig of lonely women, they picked me up for tea. I asked for a psychologist, with yakim mi long ago. For a long time.
Bulo can see that we deserve Rozmov, and a psychologist.
We shared a visnovka, which with the second person's skin has spent about the same on us, and it is not possible for us to create new blues.
I'll tell you about those that I spent especially.
Spillkuvannya. We spoke a lot with the man. They chattered relentlessly. Did the children laugh and feed, if we talk? And we drank in roses, like cold water in the sinter ... They talked about everything; about books and films, about weather and nature, about birth and death, about birds and children. We were all going to talk about it, listen to the thought, listen to the voice of the kohanoi people. No one can replace me, but no one can replace me.
Home warm. I hurried home to cook the people savory for the evening, I always wanted to please Yogo. Obviously, I prepared for everyone, but as a guide for the first person. And at the weekend they baked, and the man at the weekend was preparing snacks that evening. Wait. Now I don’t have anyone to cook and bake for, and I don’t always want to go home with work. That is why I often walk around. Just. Without a goal. Hodge there, de mi walked together. I remember what I am guilty of in that other place I said.
Vihіd "of the people." We loved to go to the cinema, to the theatre. at the cafe, at the guests, they often received guests at their place. Now there is nothing. Widows are not guests.
And the guests seem to have stopped coming. As a man died, my friends stopped going, my colleagues also, I began to get inspired. And then, for the second time, I figured out that I couldn’t ask for more, I tried to ask, but it’s not a moment, I can help someone with my family, and someone else has plans.
Finance. I didn’t become a poor person, but I took care of all the financial nourishment of my family, wept rahunki, bought absolutely all products, robbed serious purchases. At the same time, I myself have to learn how to keep a record of finances.
Dovira. More importantly, what I spent with the output of a person. Tse those that I don’t get at once. I can’t talk to anyone like that, open up. I said everything to the people. I didn’t have any mystery, like I saw it.
We talked about everything. I guess that so hopefully my secrets could not be saved by my mother, sister, or friend.
And, you know, I remembered that you, who, after the death of a person or a serious separation, do not know yourself again a couple, cannot know with a new companion yourself.
Well, what about work?
Life continues and life is required. It's necessary to laugh. If you spend it, then people would be happy with their love, but suffer and get stuck in themselves not varto, and even dowkola style richly unseen, indistinct. Styles of everything that you can love and be merciful with ... A happy person is easy to put on, but it’s necessary.
Grandmother Katya ... I lived with her in the same room from my early childhood until my very death. The apartments were changed, we moved to Moscow - there was always order.
In memory, merge grandmother's words:
- Well, again, everything was cursing, “sburobala” ... Well, I told you - don’t sit on a lizhko. For this sofa є і stіltsі, і from stools in the kitchen.
The granny’s lounge was softly laid out with the “armoured mesh” and it was tidied up beautifully in a strong way: the pillows were warm, they had a cloak on them, the “ditch” was more crooked and the “peep” of the manual robot was the same. Before going to bed, she would fluff up the feather bed and sleep, as if in a white gloom.
As a child, I was already afraid that my grandmother would die so much. Sometimes I wandered around in the middle of the night and heard for a long time - go away chi no. Without a doubt, the greatest fear of my childishness. Grandmother was older than me for 70 years, and even then it was given to me even more forever. I remember that, having signed up for a medical appointment after an operation on her eyes, she said: “The speaker, who rejoiced at me and seemed: “You, Katerino Pavlivno, you will live up to 90 years!”. kind words And then I believed in them cheerfully and fearlessly, and calmed down - I stopped being afraid of Grandma's Swedish death.
My grandmother on the Batkiv line, Katerina Pavlivna Zolotaryova (at the Selyaninov’s family) was, however, an unwritten, but in a worldly wise woman. In childhood, I grew up under її sight - in strictness and order. Grandmother was chasing after him, so that my brother and I spent an hour and robbed lessons, so that I didn’t sleep in a music school and started learning the “specialty” that “servo” (that’s how she called solfeggio). Vaughn wove my pigtails and sat on the bench, eating from the sacks, while I walked with my girlfriends by the yard.
Grandmother didn’t raise her voice and didn’t cry, but when I started to cry with rapt, I calmly said: “Don’t “rock” (don’t cry) - don’t cry tears of gold”, but to make me laugh, she added: the man does not die."
She herself was not rich and rather streaked at the same time, even though it was already richly rocky. She could bring something new to every life, as she survived the revolution, the Gromadyan war, the Great Vitchiznyan, the death of loved ones, the birth of new students and great-grandchildren, moving, ailments, little joys of life.
Zir at grandma’s buv is already unimportant, but she always sat at the vital room (“hall” - as she said), if the TV was marveling at me in the evenings. As if they showed me a melodrama, she said: “Kohannya ... Yake-nebud kokhannya and why do you eat it.”
Our friend on the pіd'їzdu "Baba Dasha" - її girlfriend, and at the same time and ravchinya - sewed babushki cloth and aprons - always in sets, from one piece of fabric - I didn’t sew this on anyone. While they were scorching their eyes, granny was cooking inkoli. Especially pies went into it (my mother constantly choked with the strength of grandmother's hands - like a misfortune: the pies then came out just incredible) and "loaf", and baked "boughwood", that soup with dumplings - "panska", like she called yogo. And to my question: "Why" sir? - she began to tell stories about her life before the revolution, and explained that she cooked the soup for her rulers, for whom she served as a cook, sometimes she made up her mind after a minute and then prepared a simple village "prison" and spoiled herself with it to me and my brother.
Sometimes I asked її: "Ba, well, tell me how you lived for the king." Vaughn slowly looked up, talking skilki about one and the same, and then indefatigably got busy with the help, and the guise of її in the qi of the whilini was young. Mom’s grandmother was more juicy and figurative, and I, on a riddle about childishness, when I’m happy, I live it myself.
I looked at my grandmother, if she didn’t bachila already. Helped mitisya, prati її drіbnichki, brought beauty - she said to me like this: "Come on," image "me"". The word is like a miracle - "image" - create your image - bring beauty! not boulo, but the postava bula was proud, I forgot such an axis.
Z sієї great sim'ї Zolotar's only I am that my mother - Zolotar'ova Valentina Andriivna (née Vashchenkov), a young bride, clucked at the moment and heard roses of the grandmother. I myself didn’t understand yet, it’s important to know your past. It was only for my zavdyaks and my mother’s guesses that I was far away to create the life of my grandmother Katya.
Vaughn was born on the 24th day of 1890. near the village of Chembar, Shelukhivsky District, Ninishny Ryazan Region, near the family of Pavel Ivanovich and Oleni Ivanivna Selyaninovs.
Chembar was already a great village and there were close to three hundred houses. “All the houses in the village were drowned in white,” the grandmother guessed, “there was less than Ivan’s father-in-law (father-in-law of Oleni Ivanivny. - Auth.) - a cooper, they lived side by side, drowning in a black way, but it was so necessary to celebrate. I hung the whole hut under the stele of wines with hoops for barrels and rocks - smoke and dry.
Sim'ya dida Ivana at that hour was as a whole splendid - generations of sprats lived together, and children of budinok spawns. There were few sleeping quarters, and so at night they brought straw around the hut, spread it along the bed, covered it with sackcloths, and slept like that. The vrants were spitting straw at the stove. Grandfather Ivan, undersized, frail and always angry at home, without wasting his time hitting someone from a child with a hoop, like a stink, having grown angry, started a baganina around the house. The natomist yogo squad was a stately, tall woman - strong and kind.
The last son of Pavlo Ivanovich (my great-grandfather) "saw" and called his lord's house. At the sight of Ivan's father, his family was not numerous: there were only two children - daughter Katya and son Methodius. Also, at the new hut, they lived spaciously and comfortably. The fathers loved Katya, especially the father. In the past, the grandmother often guessed at the great state forests that Chembar had wandered off, which had a lot of mushrooms and sunnits. This berry was the subject of a special craft - the Chembarsk girls picked the sunitsa and sold it to the harvesters, who would come for an hour from St. Petersburg itself. Right there on the mіstsі varennya was being cooked. It was worth doing the busywork with the money - on the withdrawal for the season, the pennies of the girls could take their own land.
If on the 17th birthday my grandmother was married to a son of a susida, Pilip Mikhailovich Zolotarov, born in 1886. narodzhennya (mіy dіd), won was formed on the fathers, like they gave a year to the school. “Have you come so early? That one, according to the law, - said the grandmother, - it was too early for the zamіzh: for permission to marry, they went to the dean. Possibly, on the right, a bula at a rozrakhunka - “a rozrakhunka for a good person.”
Rozrahunok rightly appeared to be true, and the hat - in the distance. Philip took care of all his life and shredded his squad (the word "love" was rarely used in the countryside). At the vіlini vіdvertostі granny told that she didn't turn her back to her, but if she turned, she just kicked from her side, aby the whole hour bachiti її disguise. The roses were remembered by grandmothers about її fun. On this young people it was not allowed to drink, not to eat, less, if the stench came to the bedroom, only there they showed preparations for them - candied fruits and peas, and fruit drinks - no alcohol conceive) - the axis is such a simple life wisdom.
For that sound, the grandmother went to live to be a man. At that hour, the elder brother Methodius had already made friends, and at the same time, Natalya was alive and well from the retinue - near Bogorodsk near Moscow, having worked at a weaving factory.
If the children have done their own, the grandmother's mother, Olena Ivanivna, has often forgiven. Vaughn suffered greatly from a migraine, but the faces did not help. I lost more than hope that the relics of that holy mass would vibrate. Pishki won around half of Russia, visited the Trinity with Sergius of Radonezkiy, at the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra and other holy masses. For the rest of her forgiveness, she brought the Trierian orphan girl Maria to her house. Cholovik great-baby, Pavlo Ivanovich, s good heart having adopted a girl. The stench grew її, like a native daughter, later they took a dowry, she saw a foreigner.
So, even Pilip didn’t have his own hat yet, and he grafted the young squad to the father’s house - the wife of Mikhail Ivanovich (his squad died in the dryness). Krym my grandfather in the same time were two brothers who were friends at that hour - Grigory and Ivan, two unfriends - Maxim and Vasil, two sisters - girls Motrona and Arina, that old grandfather, whom everyone called "Turk", shards of wine Russian participant. - Turkish war 1877 - 1878
.
Farming did not bring enough money for life, and so many villagers were engaged in various outdoor activities. The sons of Mikhail Ivanovich had their own craft. The older blues, including my grandfather Philip, were engaged in dowsing. For help, the vines of the stench snorted water, drilled the artesian Sverdlovin, as if the grandmother told, not only Russia, but also Turkestan.
Grandma's father-in-law was a good master and a good person: the dawn of his wisdom and life in this lived together. At that hour, already after a century, I could not travel with my sons to work, and at the same time from nevisnikami and daughters in the home state, and engaged in farming. The young son Vasil was small at that hour, and the 18-year-old Maxim died in the dryness, like his mother.
Unexpectedly, my grandfather Pilip Mikhailovich was taken to the army, de vin serving as a cavalryman in a hussar regiment stationed in Orly. The chief of the regiment was Grand Duke Kostyantin Kostyantinovich Romanov, who sings in the history of Russian literature (signing his works with the initials K.R.).
They served for a long time. Grandma didn’t want to be separated from the man, and she went after him, fortunately, he added a temper: the regimental priest screwed his own cooker, and Philip, having called for the work of his young squad, yak took good to cook. To whom її was taught by his mother, Olena Ivanivna, who served as a cook at the “fox pan” (this is how the Chembar villagers called the clerk of the fox, who, following the order of the state fox, under whose kirivnitstvo was the whole fox state).
Grandmother guessed that the family of the priest was great - seven children: a young student-student, two girls-gymnasium students and a couple of boys. The youngest of them was only born, and the “mother” looked after the children. On the grandmother lay the bindings from the tidying up the booth and preparing the zhі, and the laundress washed the white.
At that hour, religious fasting was done with the village families. The first post, having given a generous snid, the grandmother and the power itself to eat, but on the vіdmіnu vіd lords put potatoes and settlers on the table. Tse was beaten by one of the priest's daughters. Trochy vagrant called Katya to the office to the father. Having put її in an armchair and quenched:
- Katya, are you an old woman?
- Hі, ale post mi dotremuєmosya zavzhd.
- Katya, people guessed the post, and the post was not obov'yazkovo.
It's true, I didn't post yoga. The masters lived modestly. With the help of the boules of food, they brought from a small motherhood, which the priests got away from the falls in front of their brother.
In 1912 I’m going to send calls to the reserve and turning back from the retinue to my home. Nezabar was born son Pavlo. I had a chance to think about the life of a wet house. But there was no place for him in Chembari, and Philip, having moved near the village of Novo-Mosolovo - “to the hangers”, de raising his own house of power. In the same place, according to the status of him, the grandma's brother Methodius was victorious. Methodius' budinok was the most beautiful near the village - the vіn of the stars from the cell, which was rare for that hour. True, there were no pennies for the factory chain, and they robbed and scorched themselves. Tsey budinok stand at the village dosі. Before the speech, the grandmother's brother is a lifeless ice without suffering through his booth. At the rocky collectivization, they wanted to send him like a fist to Siberia, but it didn’t work out.
Shards of Methodius from the retinue worked at the factories in Bogorodsk and the yogo houses could be empty all the time, there from Chembar - closer to the daughter of that son-in-law - the grandmother's fathers moved with the primal donka.
Peaceful life was not long. In 1914 war began with Nimechchina, and children were called to the front, de vin serving as a bellwether at the front line, and being rewarded for valor and heroism with the St. George Cross. As I said myself, I did, having tried exactly 40 months on the wine. The picture of the return of the father to the front in the autumn of 1917 was especially remembered from the roses of the grandmother. If, having risen to the booth, he took the five-eyed Pavlik in his arms, then he shook the other - the curly-haired and blue-eyed baby of three years. Having asked:
- And whose boy is he?
“Your son is old, Vanya,” said the grandmother. - You were born, if you are already at the front.
In life, obviously, everything happened. Like a grandmother told me a story about those, like a did, being from a family brigade in the industry, didn’t die a little. One of the bridesmaids, who once went with her brothers like a cook, sent a dispatch to her grandmother: “Katya, come, Philip did not go on a spree.” Grandmother left the children on the mother and went. I’m going to be happy when I arrive at home and inspire anger. Insha b, on the grandmother's place, rushed into a cry, but in front of her - no zakidiv, no power - she was bored and that's it. Vіn boov similar to a couple of evenings kudis, she calmed down. And the grandmother let the bride go home and she herself became a cook in the army until the end of the season. So, without scandals, that z'yasuvannya of stosunkiv, the family was saved.
After the wars of that revolution, Philip and Katerina lived as an important peasant practice. Have 1931 r. entered, like everything else, to the Kolgospu. For an hour at the grandmother's 1919 p. Born son Mikola, born in 1923 - twins Oleksandr and Ganna, and born in 1925 - my father Victor.
Novo-Mosolov did not have its own school, but it was only 15 versts from the house and the children had to live there in rented apartments with strangers. Also in 1935. my family moved to Ramensky near Moscow. Here they lingered on the outskirts, where there were private booths. Didus pratsyuvav back on the cob zaliznitsi, then let's forgive a worker at a small cooperative, who was engaged in the production of confectionery products. Three works of wine sometimes brought malt to children - halva and defective caramel - “landrin”, as grandmother called her. They lived badly. It was possible to give a kut to students from a medical technical school. Sob mother wants to make an additional income, in the evenings and vihіdnimi did chop firewood from the same cooperative. Grandmother was engaged in domestic domination. The main support for the family was a year-old cow and a city of 12 acres, which was immediately behind the house. So, they lived very well, but all the children of the children and the grandmothers were far away to “pіdnyat” and bring them into the people.
The elder son Pavlo became a militia officer. Vіn early made friends and is alive and well with the retinue and three children. Zaginov born in 1945 in Western Ukraine, send messages to fight against Banderivtsy. At once, from two other policemen, having drunk at the aisle, from a corral of wine. The details of this death were not known for a long time, it was less clear that they were dead - they were driven to ice by live bait.
Ivan, who had graduated from a technical school, had been called up to the army before the beginning of the Great War of the Victims, serving at the Distant Descent. Zvіdti yogo part of the Bulo was thrown to the front. Having taken the fate of the battle for Stalingrad, having crossed the Dnipro, fought on the Kursk River, at the battle for Berlin. Vіynu finished at the rank of major - the commander of the rank-and-file battalion. Buv awarded with orders and medals, holder of the Order of Alexander Nevsky. After the war, Ivan Pilipovich was the head of the liaison officer of the Literary Preslidnitsky Institute near Zhukovsky, working on the life of the Volga-Don Canal. Pіznіshe cheruvav zv'yazku of the Ministry of Energy.
Mykola, having finished the seven, pishov worked on new developments Ramensky priladobudivny plant of aviation industry. Together with him in 1941. vin buv evacuations to Izhevsk. At Ramenske, Mykola turned at once from the factory already like a war. Pratsyuvav on budіvnitstvі the first lines of the intermediary telephone stations from Moscow to the Far Skhod.
Oleksandr, just before the war, graduated from the 10th class and was twice called up to the young army, de serving with the important artillery. Having been demobilized, he entered the Moscow State Institute of International Vidnosin. Ale, through the tragic death of his elder brother Pavel, furnish that at that hour they were not tied up to the end, the work behind the cordon you was fenced. After the completion of the Oleksandr Institute of directions to Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, he took part in organizing the deportation of the Japanese from Sakhalin. Pіznіshe buv on the party robot, vikladav English language that history at the technical school, as a kind international lecturer.
Hanna graduated from a medical college, spent the whole war as a nurse in Ramenskoe (she had a daughter born in 1941 in her arms), and then moved to Moscow and worked until retirement at the Kryla Rad aircraft engine plant as a supervisor.
My father Victor reached the end of the 9th grade before the war. Worked at the Ramensky priladobudіvny zavod. Mayuchi "armor", volunteer pishov to the front. Serving on the Pivnіchny fleet on the squadron destroyer "Grozny" (the future writer V. Pikul served as de youngster). Dad served 11 years with the fleet. Having finished his service as a company commander and a clerk of the deep sea training at the school of sailing - this is how Leningrad quickly called the head of the underwater swimming pool named after S.M. Kirov is a great pioneer, a kind of preparing facsimiles for all fleets: hydroacoustics, radiometers, divers and others. Through the river, through the fast-moving army, through the ranks of the reserve, and turning with the squad to the grandmother (in the same roci, my older brother Pavlo was born). Todі vlashtuvatisya pratsyuvati bullo even more smoothly, and yogo was taken to the auxiliary plant as an electrician, tobto. to the same settlement, with such a wine pishov 16-row cotton.
Until the moment my father returned to Ramenskoye, my grandmother had already been widowed - she had caught a cold “on the labor front”, and died in 1943. in the wake of the croupous inflamed legen at the age of 56 rokiv ... Prote granny worked everything in her power, so that the youngest son continued the education. If he was called from the army, she herself wrote to you as far as Leningrad: “Vitya, an institute was opened at Ramensky – take a squad and turn around home – here and help.” In parallel with the work at the plant, Viktor became a student at the branch of the Moscow Aviation Technological Institute, which only worked in Ramenskoye. Spring 1961 I was born, and the same fate began to bring the private sector to Ramensky. Mustaches of my relatives, as if they lived in a grandmother's booth, took away their apartments near five overhead houses, which they would later call "Khrushchevs". That grandmother took the apartment.
Regardless of the move, all the relatives continued to live on their own. Three apartments lived on one Maidanchik: Uncle Kolya with his squad, aunt Anya, my fathers and I with my brother, and Uncle Vanya with the squad, aunt Lida, and grandmother.
Suddenly, Uncle Vanya's homeland moved to Lyubertsy, and my grandmother urged my fathers to leave her, exchanging two apartments for one bike at the "Stalin's house". Until the end of her days, she lived with us - my grandmother died on September 3, 1981. at the vіtsі 90 roki (like that likar prophesied).
After the end of the institute, the father became a pratsyuvati designer, intercessor. shop manager, foreman head controller of the plant. Later they hung on the job to the Committee of Party Control, two roki were the head of the Ramenskoy city and district Radi, six roki - the first secretary of the Ramensky district committee of the CPRS. In 1976 yogo to translate to Moscow, de vin becoming an intercessor. head of the head office of Derzhpostach, then director of the plant "Promzvyazok" near Pushkin near Moscow. Svіy trudovy way graduating deputy. director of the Scientific and Research Institute of Automatic Systems of Aviation and Space Industry. Ninі vіn live near the village of Bikovo and є we will honor the bulk of the Ramensky district.
Grandmother died a month before my already recognized wedding, and I flattened her eyes - the first death was the first death, as I swung the axis so close. It would be necessary to endure the wedding, that my mother was against it - you can’t lie down with a Christian. Ale, the fathers of the betrothed got into trouble, and I waited. Shlyub zreshtoy vyyavivsya not far off, and maybe two years before my separation, my grandmother came to me more and more angry ... At once I will understand that it was impossible to go against tradition. Mabut, my grandmother wanted me to get ahead of me ... But then the mind came to me later.
Today I want to say:
“Grandma, I’ll always tell you, and as if I’m not wise enough – for this old and small, there’s always a duty, but the children seem to grow up kind and strong, and the old don’t feel self-confident and їm є scho to say and tell the children. Mutual assistance and povaga is the basis of skin sympathy.
If a person is dying
“I’m sleeping in the bed, vvazhayuchi dreaming about you ...”
Gayle Godwin wrote: It was so quiet after that, like wine; the music has died down, and his voice has been wonderful. If I read this rhyme, I see the heat. If I want to feel badly about the silence of that silence, the stench would be like a collapsible storage waste of a man.
Woe is the most important camp of all possible. Navіt yakscho and richly rokіv looked out for a chronically ill person, you can be emotionally unprepared before your death. When the time comes, we rarely, if ever, get ready. We are surprised.
It's important to accept this fact. Andrea, my client, thinks about the next day after the funeral of a man: “I could not sleep, I spent the night cleaning the kitchen. I said the word "widow" in my own voice, seeing the bitter relish of the mouth. Navit unconcernedly to those that I was preparing to say a word for two years, when I found out about the diagnosis of “leukemia”, it was important to remember.” Brenda, my 61-year-old client, told me that the first time after the death of her man, she couldn't be angry enough to read the newspaper article again: “I couldn't be angry. If the one you love dies, as if a part of you dies together with him. Three fates have already passed at once, and I feel like this, I just start thinking at once.
Nearly 50% of women have been widowed for over 65 years. Nearly 85% of the squads survive their people. Prote millioni women, who have lost their lives without people, to live well. In fact, women cope better, having lost their self-esteem, lower men. Regardless of those that the loss of a person is one of the most stressful moments, in the future, most women of the older generation know widowhood by a positive transition to a new phase of their life. The stench wants to become the masters of their share again, reverify it in my mind, like the stench took away the last hour of life, try new strengths of that self-singing, like they can bring maturity.
My friend Barbara told me: “The death of my man was and continues to be the most important moment of my life. I am that very person, but at the same time I know how strong I am. Deyakі zhіnki pomenayut nasolodzhuvatisya period bezshlyubnostі, іkіlki gostroty grief blunted. Simdesyatidvorichna Liz told her story: “My man died from a heart attack. We were friends for 41 years ... Sometimes I am aware of my self-esteem, but I made new independent friends, and the savor of life turned to me.
As you choose lineless grief in the way of your life, your person will be deprived of nothing for your well-being. Another nebezpeka polagaє at your dead man's star on the p'edestal, for the rahunka of which it will be easy to remember only kindly, and so you can continue without a break, and nothing to you can be seen. You can win such a thought as if you were truly inspired by the renewal of your life and love for another person. The key tasks are to accept the reality of death, to endure more grief, to live without the deceased and to increase the memory of the kokhan, so that the distance collapses.
The word "widow" comes from Sanskrit and means "empty". Ale chi need to deprive this hour of empty, chi can you remind Yogo Tim, what has deprived us of life?
What do you think and feel about what drive?
Tsey text is a cognizable fragment. From the book Viprobuvannya crisis. Odyssey author Titarenko Tetyana MikhailivnaIs your loved one dying? Tremite mi talked about those, yak vee, close people, you can help a seriously ill person to turn around with a yogo camp. Ale, it’s not easy for you. This is a desperately ill person, these close friends are going through all the stages of suffering. Wee together
From the book Law of prominent people the author Kalugin RomanA person is dying because of sumniviv It’s a pity, among the people, the orders are always right, sometimes they create their senses. So wrong is the offensive: the fingers of the brush are breaking, but the words are not choking. Often orders are a sign of not life
From books Zovsіm іnsha rozmov! How to translate any discussion in a constructive way by Benjamin BenIf you win the response strategy, and if you don’t If you learn to ascertain the presence of skarg in roses, you will consider them a little bit. First of all, you will begin to intercede and try to help, we would like to guard you. In other moods, if a person swears
From the books of Kolya it’s impossible [Come in the invisible realities] author Grof StanislavQUEEN DIE If you dream that you will bring the day In 1964, Joshua Bearer, a British psychiatrist, asked to take part in the Congress of Social Psychology, which was held in London, Joshua was the organizer and coordinator. My lecture was partly
From the book 10 bad pardons, how to shy people author Freeman ArthurIf criticism is corny, and if it’s not, it’s coming food: “Why do they criticize me?”. To be praised forever accepting the condemnation, but sometimes criticism becomes corny. True, at the same time, it happens that criticism is respected as constructive, but really it’s not
From the book Self-reader of wisdom, or a handyman for those who love to learn, but not to love, if they learn yoga author Kazakevich Oleksandr"Freedom is nothing, if it's there, but it's all - if it's dumb." He is less satiated with watery drinks and needs, evil people become overly indulgent for a different kind of unfriendly positive infusions. BUT
From the book Speak. Secret methods of special services by Graham Richard 3 books good women filthy speeches trap. 50 ways to be vip, if life drags you to the bottom author Stevens Deborah Collins23. Crying, if the day is dying I realized that the yakby, what we call “human nature”, could be changed, then everything could be possible. І th moment
From the book Wikidaemo old chereviki! [Give a new life straight] by Bets RobertA PEOPLE IS NATURALLY UNIQUE AND DIES AS A COPY Most of the people are deep sleepers, even though they are quiet and collapsing. Stink sleep us in front of the soul, at the witness. "Normal" people - the middle - lively unattractive; Vіn do not see your buttya and your living essence. Vin
From the book Vidkriy himself [Selection of articles] author Team of authors From the book of Knowledge of Riziki. How to choose the right course author Gigerenzer GerdMore people are dying of prostate cancer, less people. Prostate cancer is not so common and rarely develops. 1 in 5 Americans in their sixth decade will likely develop prostate cancer in its other form (Fig. 10.3) (170). When people lean on the eighth and eighth
3 books Kokhanny rules author Templar Richard How to pick up the key to a man or to a woman author Bolshakova LarisaLearn to recognize the situation, if the turbo is old, and if it’s not, then, remember about those who need a turbo, ale, first, it’s good in the world, but in another way, it’s only old, if your partner needs it turboti. Let's think, if we're right
From the book of Stratagems. About the Chinese art of life and survival. TT. 12 author von Senger Harro From the book Sex at the dawn of civilization [The evolution of human sexuality from prehistoric hours to the present day] the author Jet KasildaWhen will life begin? when will it end? Indicated figures on the flooring are fantastic, like an assessment of the average growth. Truly, the stench is based on the quiet pardons themselves, created by high child mortality. If you don’t cheat on this factor, you can chime in, what
From the book The key to p_dsvidomosti. Three magic words - the secret of secrets author Anderson YuelThe spirit does not die People in jokes about immortality often ask, “Will a person live again?”. Ale, so we are less likely to get confused even more, even if immortality can not be taken away from death. Can you talk about some new life? Immortality lies in the fact that there is no way
Zvichna family life you can fall in one moment, if the squad of a man is unstoppable. A man who has survived the death of a squad, such grief will turn up, but not lama. For women, everything is not so simple. It is especially important to bring the young squad, as the person has spent.
The woman's psyche is richly thin for a person, and the strength of emotions is stronger. Navit if a woman is between a man and a retinue "not good", the loss of a man is often a great stress for a woman. What can you say about that mountain, how a man loved with all his heart? How to survive the death of a person, come back with pain and know the strength how to live far away?
From our stats you know:
- About the stages of grief experienced by a skin widow.
- Until then, we are preparing buti.
- How can you help your mother survive death?
- How to help friends, how to spend a person.
- Like a widow widow thinking about death.
- About science and religion pidkhid.
- About the "List" method.
- What to work with a hoop.
Everything is allowed to be understood, how to give the right support to the anger of a woman. How to help him survive the loss so that she doesn’t re-baptize his whole life.
Tragic news: what can you shut up about?
Etapiv, through yaks, the squads happened to pass, yak spent a man, a sprat. As a rule, stinks go one by one, but you can blame them. Otzhe, tse:
- miserable experience;
- believe in those who trapilos;
- unmotivated aggression;
- desolation, depression.
Feeling the zhahlivu novelty, the woman feels a strong stress. Especially as a young man. Often you don’t waste your orientation at the expanse of that hour: you don’t feel what it seems, marvel and don’t sip, don’t react to the dot. Let's sweat at її heart of nibi sees the zahisny valve and all in the middle fills the unbearable spiritual pain. This is a psychological blow of majestic tightness, which cannot be repaired.
Protecting yourself from stress, the psyche is encouraged to believe in those that have become. The very same squads who have died often do not want to know this fact. A woman can say that it’s not true, that they deceive you imperceptibly, that it’s stupidly hot toshcho.
After the death of mental anguish, lead the widow to the thought of who is to blame. I won’t start shukati tsgogo “kogos”. Then the stage of inhibition transforms into the stage of aggression. In some places it is swishy, and in others - with a great zatrimkoy. Aggression of a widow may be directed both at others and at herself.
If a woman confesses that she is guilty and does not know how to survive grief, she begins to punish herself different ways. Tse:
- Constantly manifesting the ringing of that self-flagellation of a lack of good standing to a dead person.
- Come to the heartache through those who could not save or save (to instill something like no one else).
- Twisting at the head of everything that did not catch to say what to say for a person.
The axis of the approximate change is punishing, on the way the woman voluntarily agrees with herself. Vaughn can also fence yourself, eat and drink, and start drinking. For example, with the power of rubbing the body with a thick washcloth, literally twist the hair in the process of rozchіsuvannya, or specially not badly behave with rіzhuchimi objects, in the hope of applying one's own kaličtvo.
In such a situation, it’s good, as if instructing friends and relatives to lean. Like with your close people, such grief was trapiled, help for the sake of a psychologist, like help a friend survive the death of a person.
Aggression, straightened out, is especially hard for those who are isolated. The widow begins to hate everyone who looks happy. Especially її fights more cheerfully making friends: it’s not in your power to play through it.
At the "camp of enemies" її children and navit onuks can opine. Such a mother can try to cook a daughter from a son-in-law or a son-in-law. You may not make contact with your relatives through my lack of (at a glance) sorrow. Start shouting at onukiv and punish them for the least fault. In the case of hatred, to the fullest extent of the world, you can curse other people.
Then apathy sets in, for which depression often follows. The woman ceases to chirp with us, that without a doubt she is not related to the dead man. After death, it is practical not to leave the house, do not call friends and do not ask anyone to come to you. Vaughn flickers at her own ass, leading a life in the Kremlin: she simply does not want to live without a person. Її add more films, programs and serials, de є drama and slozi, those same books.
The layers of deep sorrow are the cause of the body of the majestic shkodi. Permanent stress wears out the nervous system and leads to the development of various illnesses. But the woman step by step "gas out". In the case of the skin z tsikh vipadkіv, the last words are the most summative: the widow can die in grief.
Next people in the pool: what work?
As a rule, the mother herself best friend- Two dear people in the life of a woman. As if by the will of the widow, one of them became a widow, requiring her to try to do everything in order to make her lot easier.
How can you help your mother survive death?
We are going to give you this hour of fasting (it is possible to inspire a healthy) moral encouragement. With mom all the time you can talk. Moreover, it’s good to speak with her, in order to restore respect in the face of summary thoughts, not varto. It is the mother's fault to be alone for a while with her grief, to be appointed, like to start living. But the presence at the house of the daughter of chi sina itself helps a lot.
Vinyatkovo it is important to listen at the moment, if after the death of a kokhan, one should share thoughts about the deceased. This is a kind of psychotherapy, as it beneficially pours into the camp of the psyche. Like a mother behave aggressively, it is necessary to put yourself up to the mark of reason. How її are playing onuks, it’s better not to bring them to her for a certain hour. Zayviy stress for children is also not up to it. React calmly to the sleep of a fierce mother, like a hurricane is angry.
If you want to be different, but good respect, you can do good service, and the woman will come to you. And here the correctness of that love is important. You don’t need to ask for relatives and friends, to “develop mother’s self-sufficiency” - it’s not fair, and it’s not helpful.
Good films and serials with a life-like, positive force can bring great melancholy. But only not light comedies! Be like a mother’s order, like a voice of summary thoughts, you need to nudge with all your might. Tse dopomozhe їy shvidshe to accept the situation and learn to live without the support of a person.
How to help friends survive the death of a person?
As if she lost herself, you have an hour to live in it. It made sense, securing її fortune. Children are required for this very principle, that with mother - do not lie with roses, but not far away. Do not look at aggression, but try to listen for the fate of everything that seems like a friend. Most often, it is simply a way to throw anger and an image at injustice, and even more so as a “catalyst”. After sleeping anger, the widow can immediately burst into tears and the axis here is required in a friendly way to cheer and blow. Porada with films and serials also come.
If the widow doesn’t want to, after the death of a kokhan, someone else would be entrusted from her, you can pick up by phone. Short-term visits can give a pleasant effect and give the woman the opportunity to burn, speak and cry. You can try to get your friend to go to nature: just change the situation and take a walk together in the fresh air. If you see something, what help you - continue like that.
And for a mother, and for a friend, it will be just wonderful to be engaged in a creative activity, to survive the grief of losing a person.
Active rehabilitation methods: what can you do?
Creativity
Like therapy for a widow pidide be some kind of creativity. Creating with her own hands, the woman learns about the tragedy, finds new interests and interests. Survive grief to help:
- painting;
- molding from polymer clay;
- photography;
- sport;
- dance;
- busy with vocals;
- breeding of wild roses, aquarium fish, shrimps;
- beadwork;
- embroidery, knitting and other needlework.
This is the minimum copy of what you can get a widow and tell me how to live far. Kursi go ahead, yak vvazha for the better to be educated in other people and to improve the intercourse. And the development of a new hobby for books and the Internet is for those who are not yet ready for a big conversation. Step by step, the “shkaralupa” recognized that grief, as if it was cursing the woman in the light, roaring, and she would fall in love with life again. Ale will take an hour.
Help for the needy
Another dієviy method, which added to the greatness of the number of women, as if they spent people, - beneficence. Profitably consorting with people, as if they had also experienced a great tragedy and a loss, but with whom they did not waste their strength in the spirit of that thirst for life, the widow will choke on their butt and step by step pin down the rozpacha.
Giving financial help to the needy, physically helping them morally, you can appreciate the spirit of power, you can accept those that have become with courage, and survive grief. You will be a good way out to help self-reliant people, children, who are left without fathers or people with serious health problems. This way is not for the skin - it’s really important, then found. Quite often I change my wife again.
As a widow, she knew in her own strength to be engaged in something and reached the singing successes, to change depression to come humility. The woman, in the meantime, accepts everything that was trapilos, razumіє, that this is a natural way of speeches and begins to learn to live without a person, but it is already learned.
Father chi psychologist?
The clergymen help with riches with a bida. Religion to read that it is not possible to mourn the dead for a long time, the shards of their souls in the form of tears of the living suffer greatly. Moreover, we are talking about all religions. Listening to the priest, the woman gets over her thoughts and begins to control her senses.
Faith in those that the kohana people do not die forever and її the soul її remember, it is possible to literally resurrect the widow heartbroken.
She is reconciled with this death and begins to believe that she will not end in any life, but simply pass into a different form. Even widows help to know peace of mind by regularly attending the church, conducting religious rituals about the soul of a person, praying, reading spiritual literature.
As the widow began to fall into depression, she needs a psychologist. The fahivets know how to help people get in such a waste of time and know how to go to a heartbroken woman. Vіn pіdkazhe, how to live far, to explain that I attack, I tear, empty that stupid bіl at my chest - it's inevitable, what a need to go through. Unbearable tears for an hour of unbearable crying for a rich year of crying, for that grief it is necessary not only to endure, but to live. Golovnya, don't get stuck on sumly emotions and learn to live far away.
I wanted to, but I didn’t catch it: a sheet of kohanom
The strongest witness at the widow calls out thoughts that she wanted to, but she didn’t catch the person to say. But she said it, and then she blew, but she didn’t wave. And the death immediately after welding - tse vzagalі majestic stress. How to survive the death of a crazy person in such situations? Even better, help the way, which psychologists recommend to try - write a sheet to the dead.
A new woman can write absolutely everything that she would like to tell people, yakby vin is alive. About those who took the place of wine from її life, as it meant a lot to her. Yaka won vdyachna to youmu for the kohannya, for everything that she learned in the new. Say what you dreamed and wanted to do at the same time. It feels like wine - the requirement is to be written in writing with words, with which I would ask the living people.
The sheet is required to be respectfully re-read a piece of paper and read it “until the rest of the word”. Whose way is it to allow one to “live” unseen, to ease the soul of that life after the death of a person. Tse help to let the past go and look at the future. Let's burn the leaf, and drink it, or it will rise in the wind, or bury it near the ground.
And what about work with a hoop? For the Christian call of your own hoop after the death of a person, the squad is pulled onto the ring finger of the left hand. Carry a widow's ring on the middle finger for the sake of the church for the sake of a widow.
Just don't bother church canons The same ring can be worn on a lanyard, or simply save it in a screen, like a relic dear. Deyakі widows remelt yoga, roblyachi more thinner ring - pіd svіy rosemіr finger і wear like a memory of the kohana people.
Dorimuyuchis all the lists of other joys, the woman begins step by step in response to stress. Helping the children, looking after the onuks, and cooperating with other relatives, she slowly gets used to entering into a colossal rhythm and living after the death of the grandfather more fully. Now it’s time to support your loved ones, even if the stench will require your respect, turbot that fate!
For women in the city, a turbot about onukiv often becomes the head of the right - the stink of knowing your sense of life again. And young widows often begin to make a special living and go abroad. Ale, with whom, they dbaily take goodness from their hearts, light the memory of a dead person, in the presence of a wide heart, bazhayuchi his soul to peace and tranquility.