Why does the person not want to help me? Why work, if a person doesn’t want to help around the house? How to accustom a person to work around the house? Women cunning with real butts of life
Although the hours of the Stepford squads have long passed, there are a lot of people, like before, to think that after a turboti - including women's obov'yazkovist. Ale stinks forget that the "mammoth" in the family bring not only the stink, but ykhni squads.
You and your man both spend the whole day, but when you come home, you lie down on the sofa in front of the TV, and you are obliged to vikonate a bunch of the lord’s ceremonies - prepare the supper, wash the dishes, throw the white. prying machine help children with lessons.
On your prohannya help with home rights, the person says "I, startled, I worked", "I got tired", "well, you woman, cook yourself" and other "dmazki". At the result, everyone has to work on their own, even if you are tired of no less than a person.
It is not necessary to endure such behavior - in today's families, make friends with household shoes between themselves. Activities with children, buying products and after-sales goods, picking up and preparing food - absolutely everything is shared. If a person has to pay for a month and sometimes buy groceries at a cost to get home, and the housework is called on you, then it is impossible to respect a fair distribution of obov'yazkiv.
The only option, if you can take all the turbos about the houses on yourself - you don’t work, but the person will take care of your family for a penny. Todi gospodarski turboti є your robot.
The reasons why a person is categorically unique whether it is a domestic work, may be a little:
- A banal line is a lazy person, and in all spheres of life it is possible to vanish, whether it be activity. It’s better to sit in front of the TV instead of cleaning up the wines, even if the squad doesn’t show off and do everything by itself.
- Toma - all the way to work on the robots and to get home only to sleep. He has no strength, no time for home turboti. This one has a singing bonus - such workaholics, as a rule, earn badly.
- Infantilism - a person simply does not sound the stitch for clean clothes and dishes, for the presence of products in the refrigerator, they don’t know how to iron correctly. Vin, better for everything, lives long with his mother, as he worked for everything for the new one, and then “moved” to the squad and checks in her such behavior.
- Incompetence - you just don’t mark the trouble in the booth, it’s so normal for you.
- Znevaga to "women's work" - vin perekonany, that all the troubles about the houses are to be laid on their shoulders by the squad - "adzhe ti f zhіnka, ti tsim i get busy." Gospodarskiy clopit vin vvazha primitive and negligent person.
- In the days of sensu, even if the squad will be dissatisfied, what the wines did not grow up like that - not enough good after washing the pidlog, preparing the borscht and such іnshe unsavoryly. If there are numerical reasons, people simply don’t have a sense of being shy.
People are often hovering over the formulas “I’ll help you,” “Well, I’ll help you,” “Yes, yes, dear, I’ll hurt you at once,” and just check if the woman doesn’t see it and solve the government’s problem herself. In the basis of this, there is a great cunning - you know that the problem can be escalated without your participation.
In order to destroy a person’s “baiking” from the dead center, you need to try:
- Clearly and concisely explain to the squad what you want to do - for example, if you get a tap or prepare evenings on Thursdays, while you are picking up children from school. Dosyagnіt, schob cholovіk voicing you the exact date and hour of the day of his appointment.
- Separate the shoes equally - for example, you cook, and the person has my dishes, you take the children to school, and take away the wines in the evening, erase the speeches, and iron them thinly. Household, to whom it is better for you to take care of those chi and others of the state.
- Praise for the vikonan robot - people, like children, require affection and recognition of their merits. To that, praise Yogo Navit for a small trouble in the state - and even then Yomu wants to work more.
- Explain why the fate of the two of you is necessary for the life of the master - why don’t you reach and are already getting into trouble, and who needs the exhausted squad? That's right, no one. Father, in order to make your laugh, I need a little help for you.
- Stimulate the city - for the skin "feat" of a person we will take away our city: for a half-year-old crane - I fall in love with the grass, for tidied up the apartment - a fisherman with friends is too thin.
Why not varto robiti
Have a person attached to domestic work, smut - do not bend the chick. The axis of the kіlka is glad about those who are not varto robiti:
- do not shout and do not weld - always calmly explain your position, in short - with humor and a laugh;
- do not impose on the robot, as it is not appropriate for you - if you bachite, if you do not like wine, then replace the price with a host;
- don’t take advantage of it, as if you’ve come to work - give him a little bit after an important day;
- don’t call out that it’s wrong to rob wine - on the contrary, unobtrusively help you to help you, but to build it all at once, to rob wine, as if to rob an offensive time.
Extremely come in
In especially important situations, if a person continues to ignore your prohannya about help, you can go as far as an ultimatum. If you don’t do anything around the house, then you can see. Get ready for something new, clean up, clean up, work only those that you need: prepare for one person, make only your speeches and so on.
The second option is to tell people that if you don’t want to help out with the government, then you will have to hire a bed. І pay your wi їy іz the cost of a person. The material cost and guilt of the person will be disturbed.
The family is well-off - the dugout of two people: and the squad, and the person. Burden yourself with all the problems and obov'yazki - that means, blame yourself for the unskinned that. It is necessary not to quarrel and tell the squad that it is important for you to cope alone with us, and virishuvat together about the differences.
Be-yakіy sim'ї at the skin's friend є є svennі obov'yazki, yakі zavchichay vikayut automatically.
The woman practically immediately begins to take care of, for example, getting ready, and the person begins to forgive. Ale іnodi rozpodіl tsikh obov'yazkіv vlashtovuє not all.
Even more often the squad begins to be vigilant, that it’s too much to hang on it and it’s important to turn around. When you won’t check for help in the form of your person, but don’t take it away. Through this, dissatisfaction accumulates, as if we could outgrow a serious scandal.
Why does a person not take part in the domestic state?
The people are absolutely wide-eyed, that the stench is the head of this, and they are the main task of earning pennies. To that, on other bindings, as they can wear, stinks, as a rule, do not give respect.
The yearling comes home and checks that everything is clean for now, and a tasty supper is on the table. With all the wines, they don’t think about it, how many forces and hours went to the whole squad.
On the back of a woman’s head, it’s good to look at her person, and she herself calls a mountain of shoes on herself, to make her own dress up.
Such an arrangement is on the vlashtov’s back, but then it becomes obvious that you can’t pull everything on your own squad and you really want to help a person’s side. Prote podtremki won't take away.
It is rich to lay a deposit in the form of a model tієї sіm'ї, in a yakіy rіs person. If your father did not help his mother in any way, then that person is not robitim, that which Yogo father did not accept.
How can a person sponukat to help in the state?
- You don’t need a check, so one day a person will come to work, or get up at the weekend and immediately pick up a pilosos to start cleaning up.
- If you need additional help, then you need to talk about it, and not to speak up, because sooner or later you will come by yourself. Don't come and it's already finished by the hour! That person is all in power. How can you help me to change?
- It is not necessary to start a rozmov from hysterics and screams about those, like a woman was tired, and that everything is nabridlo, but from a calm explanation. It is necessary to give an understanding of why it has become difficult, and in which you yourself need help.
As soon as Rozmov will be prompted correctly and without pretensions, then the person is not only not repairing the opir, but, on the contrary, for the sake of roaring.
Aje is the most important for the new one - all happiness in the eyes of a kohan woman is that її garni mood.
Good afternoon!
Oh, obviously, your family, of course, became a sharp streak of obov'yazkіv on "humans" and "women". Moreover, "zhіnochi" - tse pribirannya, prigotuvannya, prannya that іn ... tobto, turbota about the family middle, calm, comfort in all yoga senses. And cholovіchі - tse vidobotok penny koshtіv (if possible) that saving forces for the fall "a raptom war" :))
But, really, you can analyze the situation a little better and better, that your person simply can’t get to know himself more and more, for a kimono (for example, for you). And even more pіv bіdi, oskolki tsya novice you could b you “snap” (trigger) already with their own scams, weldings, mere notes. And from “outwardly dashing” in the fact that your person cannot and is a beginner of an independent decision.
I admit that your person was in the system of hyper-care (from the mother’s side), if all the decisions were accepted either for the new one, or for the new one, they fought, or they simply gave instructions that it was necessary for you to work. І tsya system (though it sounds marvelous) to produce good “vicons” in the profession and in the family, but also in the profession (if you need to control, analyze, set the task and work).
Such people of the building adapt to the different minds of life, and to the unwashed dishes the same, but in their mind such a Lanka, like “zavdannya / goal” (may be clean at home) fall out of the focus of respect. Їx none of them put the task on their own. Aja stinks were put by mom.
“Isn’t it necessary to write notes “clean up, clean, buy”, isn’t it necessary to speak and cook through obvious speech?”
So so so. It is necessary to write notes through speeches that are obvious to you, but not obvious to him. “The dishes don’t come out of the sink until you remember ..”, it’s true, but it’s impossible for me to take an independent decision about those that “You need to remember me yourself and yourself at once, and now”. Є novichka ochіkuvannya vkazіvok (at the shortest time).
“But why am I guilty of praising, so I can’t praise anyone and don’t harm, if I come and before night I’ll put everything in order, so that it’s convenient and comfortable for everyone?”
You are not to be praised and not harmed, obviously, to those who do not try to adopt new forms of behavior and fix them. Praise, compliments, aspirations are ways to encourage “I will need” behavior in a be-like person and make you cry.
"What kind of injustice?"
I respect that this injustice is a legacy of different systems of vihovennia from the father's families.
And if you want to take away the person as new, not powerful to you (and you are guilty of understanding, that independence and self-service to you are not powerful), then it is necessary to formulate them with the new one. And tse is a process, vіn vіmagає hour, patience and methodicalness. It is unreasonable to think that having lived in the “all inclusive” system, a person rapt, on her own, navit after weldings and vkazivok, it’s better to die (!) ... like stimuli you didn’t do :)) (on the basis of bagatora's repetitions), but in my brain, unfortunately, there is still no way to inspire the stars to think in such a rank, as you think. I recommend that you start to spend a lot of time in the middle of the tієї stages, on the stench of a winick, but for 3-5 years, I’m guessing ... and start reporting (doing “bagatar’s repetitions”), about what you think VI, if you sip brudny utensils (maє be clean. you need to remember the dishes - you need to turn on the water, take a sponge, zasib, etc.), and also explain to people in a report. So form the back of an automatic thought (the sound of thinking "), and then, and practical, see the task.
Success! MR.
Good day. Your comment "Good day! Oh, obviously, your familial, by itself, became a sharp podіl of obov'yazkіv to"..." on the power http://www..
Talk to an expertYou see, even more women make claims to people through those who don’t support them and don’t help them to keep on trying. Aje tse on the right is far from being simple and it's a clod. Women swear at people anonymously on forums, who cares for the better soul of friends, mothers teach colleagues to work. It is unlikely that you will help change the situation. If a woman wants to reconsider a person, take an active part in part of the butov’s food, or to nurture children, she can be cunning.
Why a person does not help the squad: the main reasons
Otzhe, why is it strong to follow the line of the house shoes and the will to call on the tendencies of the shoulders of friends? As soon as you see the line, the power of wealthy people, you can see the following reasons for not needing help:
- The sound of the stretching of the bindings into “cholovichi” and “women”. Tse vіdbuvaєtsya, as a person virіs at sim'ї, de mother was a pokіrnoy slave, like a head, the only task of the father was to secure the simom penny.
- Virus in the wrong sim's. As if a person was only violating his mother, then, singsongly, she “dragged” everything on her own, not sleeping like a little tit with buttov problems, even if it’s not easy for you to live like that.
- You don't want to look like a "pecked man". Sometimes a person ignores home shoes, so that he cares that through his friends, brother or father brand him a weakling.
- The druzhina instilled cholovіkovі, scho z usіm vporaєtsya itself. It’s like that, at the cob stage, a woman, trying to take care of the damage to a person, calls on herself all the work around the house: cleanliness, chasing a person’s clothes (right, ironing), preparing to fight, and yet she learns to practice and look good. The man calls to such a state of speeches, without saying anything to change.
Like bachite, people don’t help women through otochyuchih, blame the fathers or pardons of the squads themselves.
What is the fault of a person to help the squad at home?
Vidpovid is unambiguous - so, guilty. Sim'ya - tse team, de all obligations. Just like one of the friends is busy with butt, and the other is just chimneying, you can’t go about yaku harmony in pairs.
Sooner or later, one partner will become a catalyst for separation. Everything will turn out of pretensions, squabbles, squabbles, scandals, and end with the disintegration of this. Well, if you don’t get separated, then the woman should live with constant stress, know how to save up the image.
The person zovsіm does not help with nemovlyam
It has already become a tradition that in our case of turbot about children, it lies exclusively on woman's shoulders. Sometimes grandmothers can come to help. Tse is wrong, even a little man needs a turbot of both fathers. Especially if you care for those who have a mother with a child, and without that it already has a mating link, then like a father happens to carry out a great work to establish contact with a new member of the family. The very watcher of the old man for the new people will help you to properly establish bridges, put in a link, awakening the father's instincts in people.
From the appearance of a child in the booth of the mother, before her, she blames the insane mess. Old men can see the gamut of different feelings - from joy to coldness and from sideliness.
A woman can carefully catch a person to look after a child from the first days of a baby’s life. It’s even more important, even if the turbota itself becomes the first step for a person to become aware of the reality of what is expected. If you pass this step, then it will be easier for you to connect to the process of vihovannya.
A person can help to help a child about a child, through a banal fear of hurting a small person, who is not working like that. The woman is to blame for being entrusted to a person, to insure, to give, for the sake of instilling in the mind the one who should be robbed correctly.
How to accustom a person to help in the state: psychology
Some kind of psychologist will tell you what you need to do at home "on the birch". Tobto it would be indecent before the friendliness of the role of sharing and obov'yazka in the family. For example, a person should always bear the burden of death, to the one who is indecently handsome squads defiliate to death tanks, and after the labor day of a person, a delicious supper will lie down, purchases and cleaning up at once. Your task is to split the shoes without linking to the understanding of “persons” and “women”, but by doing so, so that both partners feel comfortable at the feet. It's a pity, so it's far from being a reality. Why work, if the moment is spent and the person ignores homework? In such a time, women varto diyati add their own cunning:
- Praise that motivation. The druzhina can accustom themselves to remember to inspire an insignificant help of a person and always with praise. So at the head of a person, a causal-hereditary connection is formed of the one who, for his or her corisn, can take the win of the obov'yazkovo receiving bonus. Tse stimuliuvatime yogo work more. Cholovik propylesosil - praise, having remembered the dishes after the evening - in the night, viprav - earning an evening with friends with a beer, without dokoriv.
- Compromises. Axis to tell, man sings you, that you simply can’t clog the flowers, can’t remember the pidlog, stick the trellis, repair the toilet bowl. Well, do not varto magatsya call everything on yourself. Try to propagate a compromise option to you, if you can’t do it yourself, hire workers, buy new equipment. Axis, after the short-term rozumovyh operations, the person will come to the visnovka, it’s cheaper, it’s easier, it’s easier to take care of yourself.
- Argumentation of a person is even more logical, so sometimes the help of women around the house is taken as a blessing. A wise woman can not just ask a person to join before court, but correctly argue her prohannya. The correct argumentation will help you more easily “reach out” to the blessed one.
What work, like a person vzagali, does not help in anything
If your person is absolutely abstracted from the mind, having proven that you are responsible for everything, then compromises, arguments and motivation can be similar. Well, if you can be eager for that praise, if you don’t hurt anything, like the word “zovsim”. At this time, revert to human logic and pragmatism. Try to put together for a new clear spread of information for the day, asking him to take care of this plan as a work schedule, which is obov'yazkovo. Kozhen vykonany and vokresleny zі the list of items associated with the new z vyrіshenim tasks. Such a pidhіd is accepted and reconciled with a rich swedishness, lower prohannya, tears, zakid, scandals.
The person does not help with the child and home rights: am I going to collapse?
In fact, this can be used by the regime, if the woman is exclusively engaged in all butt food. However, let's be happy and harmonious in the future of our union - even more nourishing.
Often people are guided to see the house maidens. Do not help any prohannya, no guesswork about those that the squad is also practicing and wanting to know. How to lure an ice-cold partner to tame the houses of cleanliness? The family psychologist Angelina Lazarenko is asking for help.
Who is to blame for help?
On the back, you need to understand that homemade blues come in to women's shoes. However, according to psychology, the atmosphere is healthy, the atmosphere is healthy, the person’s habits are good for everyday household chores. If you want to clean up your guard, if you want to take care of yourself, you will soon learn how to clean up your work, and in the booth you will become cleaner and quieter.
Virishit, as obov'yazki vikonuvatimete vy, and yakі get away from people. Tell the squad, what is behind you, for example, prannya, getting ready for that prasuvannya.
Do not take on the task, as if you can win over a person. Like at home, the faucet is dripping or the picture has fallen, guess about it calmly. Ale, do not start vimagati, so that the partner, having left the mustache, would run to kill the flowers. With this vipadka, you will not reach the result.
The beggar will change you, that the robot around the house is on the right and do not want to get involved in it? If you listen to your partner, you can get rid of it without help, adding home turboti to working goiter. Remember that a person can take on a part of the hand. The only change at the rozpodіlі of your obov'yazkіv - yoga line. Can you teach a person to take on a part of the rights, without going to the extremes? The axis of the kіlka is a number of psychologists, who work, because the person does not want to help around the house.
Zadіyayte yogo "human brain"
Remind yourself that you need additional help for additional logic. Sob the person, having listened to your words, needs to be told, as if standing in front of him, having a clear logical tongue at that. Let me understand that you are turning on robots, that you don’t get an hour to trim the houses at cleanliness. Ask a person to take part of the shoes on themselves. Speak calmly, do not raise your voice. As long as your explanations will be clear, the partner is smart enough to see what is important.
Wait, schob kokhany tidied up after yourself? Do not think of shouting or speak in a punishing tone.
Try to get used to neutral words, ask, but do not punish (“Be kind, blame me”, “Won’t you wash the dishes?”). Do not weld, pin the dorkati dress in yoga nights. Thus, to tie the pride of your person, and to work more often in spite of you.
Cholov_ki mayut narodzhene almost freedom. Speed up to him in your goals. Invite the squad, so that you can choose yourself, be it a home hand-me-down. As a partner, you will work those that are appropriate for you, you will not be responsible for the troubles around the house, relying on that or I work for the profit.
Stimulate positive reinforcement and lure negative
Explain to people how important it is to do all the homework on their own. Let me tell you more emotionally, how much strength you have to take home turboti. Let me tell you, what kind of surprise is a surprise for a partner, as if I had drunk the dishes or wiped them. Your task is to motivate a person. And positive or negative will be motivation - virishuvati you.
Do you want to vihovuvati partner, zaohochuyuchi, but chi do not scribble? The same skin is correct for a person's needs to be pidkrіplyuvati chimos accepting for a new one. Kiss a person, if you drink wine, say, as you appreciate a partner, as if you were guilty of a pidlog. Do not give compliments, and more often they are asked to work around the house, not like hard labor, but like before a reception permit.
Positive motivation is not good? Stop the negative. Tell the squad that you don’t want to wash the dishes, you don’t have to work that one. State that you do not want to take care of children.
If you have grown sensible that now you will have to put a penny on the dishwasher and the nanny, I will again help you around the house more often. You can't wait for a person to come home, so you can get lost.
Root shoes
Is the person no longer repairing the opir and is helping you with the radio? It's time to change the shoes yourself. Choose your family's joy and share at home in equal measure. After folding the schedule, hang it on the refrigerator. The person is guilty of remembrance, that now on the new one lies the responsibility for singing the handover. Sob cholov_kovі did not sleep on the thought of the idea of \u200b\u200bdeploying what was planned, go to the restaurant or go for a walk, pіdkrіpivshi folding the list, we'll accept it.
If you have children, remember that sooner or later you stink and take on some of the shoes. Ale, for the time being, the lads are small, they need to be vaccinated to the purity of a man, so that the future does not have a chance to follow the order independently.